Was it a dream or did I just blink my eyes?

Right now, I prefer listening songs,
The voice in my head is growing strong.
I just wish to write and feel the peace inside my heart.
Don't feel like sharing things
My eyes go blur ,
My head starts to ache.
Off my chest, the armor fells down
And blood starts to race.I can't think now neither can I move my arms.
Something has frozen and it's not the cold night or the usual, moon's charm.
I think and I think,
Until I see it within.It's amid the famous battle,

again my heart and my mind,
Which seems harder to win.
Where is my soul? I ask.
What is the purpose? Baffled emotions emerged.
The only void it seemed like I have been here in my past.
As The dark Knight transpires,
I have to follow the light.
Only then can I quell my fears
Said the hope to my foggy eyes.And soon appears a beam of light,
Saying; good morning, my sunshine!
Waking up to this,
I started to write,

until I realized
that I was listening to the same songs for a while.

I took a gasp and rushed to check my open eyes,
Chills in my arms
The blood was subtle and so was the clear sky.this time I allowed myself to take a feel,

of what was happening for a little while.

Not an attachment, my love.

Give me a chance, my love
To make everything right,
I swear you won't regret it!
Give me a chance to make you believe
That I was the only one whom you thought to be your bride.
I swear you will remember it!
I am sinking in the ocean of love,
Waiting for you to give me a hand and let me swim with you;
I don't wanna die.
Take my hand and let me breathe for you,
With you, I am alive.
Won't you give me a chance for the reason you came into my life?
You say you don't love me,
It was an attachment for that time?
If it were like that,
Why do I still cry to be in your warm arms?
Why do I still miss you like crazy despite of knowing your thunder mood calls?
Why do I still feel that I could make everything alright?
You have left me and moved on saying it was a mutual decision to take.
I say,
I have moved on from the toxicity,
But still stuck in the love we had.
I have moved on from the darkness of it.
Still want to be in the day light of love, only with you.
I never wanted to leave you.
Still I did it for you..
And yet you call it an attachment.
Maybe I will live after I learn to swim on my own..
Maybe I will survive, after I cross the ocean once and for all.
But if it wasn't for love, I wouldn't have been thinking all along.
If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have been waiting all night long.
You were the reason for me to believe in love.
You were the reason for me to actually fall in love.
It was love for me oh darling,
It is the hope for your love which kept me thinking to swim across the ocean
To find you and see what it really feels,
To be alive.
Not to be Loved by you is my fate.
Now, I can still see my love growing in every breathe you take and every word you say.
My love feels alive,  by seeing your face.
By hearing your voice, by thinking your name.
It is the feeling I am left with.
It is not a mere attachment my love,
Or I had been long gone when I had several opportunities.
I had been long gone if I had to.
It is love, which is making me wait!
Even if it is not in my fate.
It is my love which keeps me alive.
Not you anymore who left seeing me dying.
It is my love for you which stays with me,
Even when you are gone for a different lifeline.
My love. 

Bas wo yadein sath reh jati hai..

In ashko tale teri tasweer bheeg jati hai mujhse,
Ye khata roz hojati hai mujhse.Meri nazre mera sath nahi deti aur bewafai pe utar ati hai.
Jab bhi ehsaas hota hai inhe tere pass hone ka,
Bas apne aap ye nam sir hojati hai.
Tu paas nahi hota to bechain bhi hojati hai... Tujhe dhoondhte dhoondhte thodi thak di jati hai,
Kya karu me, ye to samhale nahi samhalti?
Ab tu hi inko apni wafa ka ehsaas dila.
Smjha inhe k hum samhal nahi pate inke dard ko jab bhi beparwaah so hone lagti hai,
Hum sach bata nahi pate inko.. K ab tere aspas hone ka kab tak intezaar karengi,
K ab lagta hai, is bewafai se ro hi padengi ab ye ankhe..
https://www.instagram.com/p/B-2VeN1DjMWLR3n5FKHfN24AapmWzdbLtiWIaU0/

Maa

Tu pyar karti hai, chillati bhi hai..
Tu khyal rkhti hai, smjhati bhi hai.
Gussa karti hai aur khud hi maan jati hai..
Itni pyari qu hai tu... Maa?

Roz subha mujhe awaz deke uthana,
apne hatho se khana khilana..
Mere bhulne par wo cheeze yaad bhi dilati hai..
Raat ko sota hua dekhne mujhe, zarur ati hai.

Meri har galti ko maaf kia hai tune,
Maaf karke wapas vishwas bhi kia hai tune,
Papa ki maar se bachati hai tu..
mere lie papa se bhi lad jati hai tu.
Itni pyari?qu hai tu..maa.!

Mere ladkhadane par samhala hai tune,
Mere bar bar girne k baad bhi uthaya hai tune,
Ek Dost ki tarah sath me chalti hai tu mere,
Saya banke.. burai se bachaya bhi hai tune.

Bhagwaan ko dekha nahi hai kabhi,
Par lagta hai tu roop me aai hai uske.
Sabke dil me,
Foolo ki khushbu ki tarah.. sama gai ho jese.

Padhaya hai likhaya hai,
Har choti khwaish ko poora kia hai,
Mere bolne se pehle meri ankho ko kese padh leti hai tu?
Mujhe khush dekhne k lie..
Apni khushi bhi bhul jati hai tu.?

mazboot banaya hai tune,
Har raah par roshni dikhati hai mujhe.
Duniya ki itni museebato se bachaya hai tune,
Hath par kaala dhaaga bandh kar, chain paaya hai tune.
Nazar na lag jae kahi mujhe,
itna pyar qu karti hai tu... Maa?

Ehsaan nahi manungi tera,
Par 1 din wo sari khushiya tere kadmo k neeche hongi,
Utni hi khushi tujhe bhi hogi aur usse kahi zayada mujhe,
Qki pyar to mene bhi kia hai na tujhse,
Meri maa.

There is a light to this night.

Every evening she cried,

Every night she died.

She always used to search for love,

Got nothing in return but hurt.

She thanked god for her beautiful life,

Could not do anything but to put a fake smile.

Her friends loved her so much,

That they could do anything just to make her feel alright.

Was she sad or was she tired?

She did put her efforts but failed.

But, when the life seemed to be rough,

She gathered hope and tried to begin once again.

Do it for yourself, they said.

Everyone will follow you.

Nothing was there in any man,

That is not in you.

She asked,

Even if my life is black,

Can somebody put colors to it?

They said,

Black is the darkest color one can ever have,

But even a single drop of white,

Can make it fade.

She smiled every evening,

She felt alive.

Just from a single thought of love,

Could make her feel in colors and delight!

Once again, i stand before you.

Once again, I stand before you.

There is a deep river in my soul,

Which wants to have fishes and boats.

My body has become a barren land,

Which is thirsty to get water and plants.

Once again, I stand before you.

Asking answers to my questions

My world is a puzzle and I cannot find an open door.

Asking for the light in my darkest night,

Searching for a star in this empty sky.

I ask, where is my home?

Did you just leave me alone?

In this beautiful world full of happiness

I am lost and trying to find my soul!

What can a person do when everything is falling apart?

Is it a right choice for him to let go of his heart?

Or the choice should be whether to take a new start?

Once again, I stand before you.

Am I living with an empty heart?

Or is it just the soul who wants to leave my parts.

Should I confess that I want to be happy?

What would you think if I told you,

Emotions are just words to me now,

Feelings are just fading now.

I ask, why should I be the one to face this?

I ask, am I not trying enough to escape this?

You gave me an answer to struggle hard.

And this struggle is a lifetime task.

I am ready to face the world If you remain by my side

I am ready to accept the truth,

If you come and show me the other side

I am ready, if you take me and guide.

Once again, I stand before you.

Asking answers to my questions,

Searching a road for my life

Finding hope to fly high.

Because, It is you!

Is love a war which i want to win.

Or is it a life which i want to live?

It maybe a dream which i want to be true.

Or is it in my body which i want you to have too.?

Is it just a feeling which i am afraid to go through?

Or just a mere attachment which i have with you.

Is love in my brain or is it in my heart.

Deep inside the soul or just in my parts?

What is love? A person, feeling or a moment?

Should it be the one who gave me life,

Or is it with the one who kept me alive?

No, it is with the one who grew up with me.

Or is it just me who is trying to feel?

Emotions and sentiments which led it through.

Deep in my heart, somewhere i knew!

A feeling or an emotion which has to be true,

For a person I am attached to.

It is a mere word unless i feel it too.

So lets begin anew!

Because I believe,

Love is within you.